Mommy Life

Lots of you are wondering how I’m dealing with transitioning to life as a new mother.  After 5+ weeks I feel like I’m finally ready to comment on it.

I feel like I’m playing ‘Mommy.’

Seriously, it doesn’t feel real or permanent.  Yes, we have a whole room in the house devoted to her, we’ve got baby paraphenalia strewn around the house (including our $20 yard sale swing), and I’m constantly changing diapers and feeding her, but it still seems so… strange.

I’m gradually getting used to the lack of sleep, limited time to get things done around the house, zero free time to work on jewelry or scrapbooking, and the fact that it now takes me 15 – 20 minutes of preparation to set foot outside of the house.  I’ve actually become better at thinking ahead and getting things done before they need done.  Putting together a bottle is a LOT easier when done in advance rather than when you have a starving baby screaming at maximum level in your ear.

We’re still uncomfortable that such a little helpless thing is so completely dependent on us, but it’s getting easier with each passing day.  Ben is getting more comfortable with soothing her when she cries instead of having me take care of her all the time, which is a huge help.  He’s pitching in with feedings, diaper changes, and being the ‘first responder’ when she cries.  I don’t feel like I’m in this alone so much anymore.

On the other hand, we’ve been exposed to the greatest most awesome outstanding instance of unconditional love.  She recognizes my voice, turns her head to find me, and smiles when we spend time together.  She wakes up every morning at 6:30 and is *so* happy to see me.  We’re gradually building our daily routine, which is going to go out the window here in about 3 weeks when I go back to work.

If we could swing it financially, I would love to be a stay at home mom so I could be with her every day.  I’m afraid that a stranger is going to see her first milestones like rolling over, crawling, walking, and saying her first words.  I like our babysitter and trust her, but it’s still not the same.

So… there it is.  I probably won’t get around to writing another post for a few weeks 🙂

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcsFalcon
    Jun 08, 2009 @ 21:19:39

    I laugh when I see those commercials that say, “A baby changes everything.” I laugh because it’s such an understatement.

    I laughed when I saw the form to add her to Ben’s life insurance. She qualified as a ‘life changing event.’ Complete and TOTAL understatement.

    You’re doing just fine sweetie, rolling right along with all the changes that Princess has brought into your life. I know a lot of those changes were unexpected – they get us all – and the best we can do is muddle through. So you’re doing just fine here. As I knew you would. 🙂

    I think I was pretty much prepared for the majority of these changes, but it’s still rough even when you know what’s coming. The absolute worst is when she’s crying (especially during the evenings) and we can’t figure out what she wants. Ben was afraid she hated him at first because her fussiness starts around the time he gets home from work.

    One moment at a time, that’s all. *hugs*

    One crazy moment at a time is how I’m taking it. I’m lucky to have you guys to bounce things off!

    Got any video of that dolly yet?

    I do! I’m just trying to figure out how / where to post it. You can’t post video on WP anymore without paying roughly $60/year for it. Lemme know if you know of any free video posting sites!

    Reply

    • DarcsFalcon
      Jun 10, 2009 @ 01:09:31

      Just go to http://www.youtube.com and create your own account – that’s free. Then you can upload your own vids, also for free. 🙂 They can be up to 10 min long, 1GB in size, and you can use your own software to edit your vids before you post them. Check out the help section, you can upload some cell phone vid too.

      My youtube account is darcsfalcon1 so when you let me know what one you decide to use, I can add you to my subscriber list. 🙂

      Easy peasy!

      Plus, once it’s on youtube, you can post the youtube vid on your WP page for free too. Double woo!

      Reply

  2. sherri
    Jun 08, 2009 @ 22:17:04

    The morning was always my favorite baby time. Like you said, they’re always so happy to see you, it’s just an instant of pure joy to start the day. Makes me smile thinking about it.

    Yep, an instant of pure joy before it’s shattered by a high pitched shriek because she wants to eat and she wants to eat NOW. Today’s super cool thing is that her smile went all the way to her eyes instead of wondering if it’s just gas. That’s just awesome.

    I’m not gonna lie to you. Leaving your newborn at daycare is going to suck the big one at first. But it all works out, and honestly? I can’t see that my children were any less happy while they were in daycare. If you have a good teachers, it’s just like a daily visit with friends.

    Luckily, we found a woman who just had a baby about 6 weeks before Mal that worked for a daycare. With two kids in the day care where she worked, she was only going to make $30 – $40 a paycheck. She’s only a mile from our house and is the wife of a friend of ours. It helps her, it helps us, and everyone is happy. Plus, Mal has her first friend her age. Even with all that I don’t want to go back to work. I picked a 4 day week so hopefully that will make it a bit easier.

    And what you said about it not feeling real yet…My first daughter was 4 mos old, and had been going to a home daycare most of that time. Usually, I’d walk in the daycare, and the teacher would say hi, and here’s your kid, and here’s what happened today. Well this one day the teacher was in the kitchen and her teenage daughter was in the main room watching the kids. She yelled, “Abby’s mom’s here!” to her mom. That’s the moment it started to feel real for me. I wasn’t just playing house. Nobody was going to take her back. She was mine and everybody knew it.

    That’s exactly how I feel – someone is going to take her away. I still can’t believe that she’s almost 6 weeks old. I figure if they haven’t taken her away yet that I’m safe 🙂 No one’s said ‘Mallory’s Mom’ yet but that might make it a bit more real.

    Sorry I hijacked your blog. Glad you’re adjusting to mommyhood. 🙂

    Nah, you didn’t hijack it. Just provided some insight 🙂 *hugs*

    Reply

    • Sherri
      Jun 10, 2009 @ 08:38:35

      Funny how growing a baby inside our own bodies and then going through all that pain to have them doesn’t always make them feel like ours. Peculiar.

      Reply

  3. claire
    Jun 09, 2009 @ 16:42:53

    well, it’s about as real as real can be. 🙂 when i need a reminder of just how real the whole baby experience was, i look at my stretch marks — and then I confirm, yup! i really did have a baby! 🙂 she’s mine! LOL!

    Oh she’s real all right… I just need to be convinced that she’s all mine. Probably being whacked out and not remembering her delivery might have something to do with it.

    as time goes by it’s going to get easier and easier. hard to believe now, but it’s true. and I’m totally confident that you’re a great team.

    I can believe it since it’s already gotten easier since she’s been born. I doubt it will ever be simple, but it’s gotten progressively easier. I’ve noticed that just when I feel like I’ve gotten the hang of things something in her schedule changes or what used to work doesn’t anymore. It’s a continuous learning process.

    trust yourself. and try to love this time. it’s precious.

    I love this time… it’s why I’m taking an extra two weeks of time off so that I can spend it with her. I’ll never get this chance again.

    xo

    Reply

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